By: Angela Espinoza

Take a moment to give yourself love and appreciation for everything that you did (and even that in which you didn’t do) during the holiday season. Even that which we didn’t do, whether willingly or otherwise, served its purpose and was most likely for the best. The holiday season is a time where overstimulation is experienced due to what is happening within ourselves, internally and externally. It may be a time filled with joy and excitement for some, but for others, it is a time of solitary and/or collective grief and emotional wounds being brought to the surface. Yet, for some individuals the holiday season can be a time of “both/and” where positive emotions are experienced simultaneously with low emotions.

There is no correct way to overcome the holiday season. Sometimes just getting through it is all that we may have needed. We can choose to find small glimmers of love and appreciation for this holiday season and then, find the courage to seal it like a letter. You can choose to discard it completely if that is what would be best for you, or you can choose to archive it if the season holds memories that you know for certain you will want to revisit.

Growing Pains of the Holidays

The holiday season can be an emotionally and mentally difficult time for people for an array of reasons. Some may have found themselves grieving a family member, a friend, or maybe a partner. Some may have navigated through difficult family dynamics. Others may have continued to internally battle through personal struggles such as anxiety and depression while having to put on a brave face for other people. Yet, some may have spent this holiday season alone. 

Let’s continue to navigate the “growing pains” of the holiday season together.

• Family Challenges
  • When someone spends the holiday season with one parent only either due to divorce/separation or due to death of the other parent. Sometimes the holiday season does not look like it used to, and this causes grief, resentment, and despair.
  • In blended families, spending some time with one family (mom or dad) and spending the other half of the time with the other family (mom or dad) can be emotionally draining and hurtful. In instances like these, the child/children split between two families may feel resentful towards their parents for not feeling a sense of cohesion and “oneness”. During the holiday season, it can be especially important to feel a sense of belonging, and in blended families, this may not always be the case.
  • In a family, healthy boundaries and healthy distance may be viewed as being out of the norm. When a person is the first or one of the few in a family to set boundaries, be okay with saying “no”, and become more selective with who and how they spend their time, others in the family may be opposed and try to fight back. Being discouraged in placing healthy boundaries can make it easy to second guess ourself and resort back to people-pleasing tendencies. 
• Individual Battles
  • Mental health and mental illness do not magically go away only because it is the holiday season. For some, individual struggles with mental health are ever present. It can be a tricky thing to be surrounded by the joyful spirit of the holiday season while simultaneously going through difficult moments on one’s own. Guilt can arise when we feel that we must be “happy” and “joyful” through the season, but in reality, there may be greater flakes of depression and low mood.
  • When there is collective joy versus individual despair it can tear the individual apart feeling a sense of isolation and inauthenticity.
• Reflection of Transitional Chapters
  • When there has been a significant change/transition in someone’s life that has occurred some time throughout the year, the intensity and severity of this change can be greatly reflected during the holiday season. The holiday season can be a time of triggers whether physical and/or emotional. Therefore, previous changes in our life can be triggered by the holiday season when we find ourselves in certain spaces and with or without certain people.
  • Since the holiday season is near the end of the year, this time can also serve as a checkpoint to how we progressed or didn’t progress throughout the aspirations that we had throughout the year. This can create shame within ourselves if we don’t find ourselves in the position of life that we would like to be.

With A Serene Heart, Take A Look Back and Then Continue Forward

The holiday season all in all, can be a really challenging time. Wherever and however you found yourself this holiday season it is okay to move past it. With a serene heart, you can take a look back and appreciate it for what it was this time around, and then continue forward. A new year will come that holds endless possibilities for you, and we are here to support you every step of the way <3

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